[personal/blog] [rants]
I was due for a
new toothbrush, so I picked one up on my way home last night. Now here's what I'm
wondering:
Why are there four
hundred different kinds of toothbrushes? I don't just mean different brands, because
there's only about ten different brands, but within each brand's offering, there
are seemingly dozens of different variations on the toothbrush. If Oral-B sells
both the Indicator
toothbrush and the Cross-action
Vitalizer (not to mention the many other choices in their repertoire), how
is a person to know which brush is best? And if one brush is superior to the others,
why even bother selling the others? I don't get it.
Of course, I used
to have similar confusion with toothpaste varieties, when I couldn't seem to find
Crest with both tartar control and whitening, so I had to make the difficult choice
between getting rid of tartar and whitening my teeth. Thank God they finally merged
the two features some years back, or I don't know what I would have done.
So as I perused
the vast selection of dental cleaning tools at the local Rite Aid, I simply strove
to locate a toothbrush that looked reminiscent of the brush I had purchased a few
short months ago. But the crop of toothbrushes in my view looked to be an entirely
new generation of dental hygiene devices, none of which looked even remotely like
the last one I bought.
So now, my mind
nearly overheating with the burden of choosing between soft and medium bristles,
large and compact heads, single, dual, and even triple-action bristles, I almost
gave up and chose the simplest, cheapest, most boring toothbrush I could find. And
then, instead of toothpaste, I would come home with a fresh box of baking soda --
or at least Tom's
of Maine (until I realize that even they've sold out to the demons
of dental variety).
But not this time.
No, I gave in and picked the super duper, cross-action, gum-massaging, indicator
brush with a tongue-cleaning pad on the reverse side. For now I'll just counter
the excessive technology of my new toothbrush by continuing to use the good old,
mouth-burning blue Listerine a couple times every day.
But in three months,
if we've already progressed to the next stage of brush evolution, I swear, I'm settling
for a piece of emery cloth tied to the end of a twig and a box of baking soda.